Friday, August 22, 2008

August 22

Today we have been married 27 years. I have come a long way from when I thought people who had been married 27 years were old. Now I prefer words like Experienced. Seasoned. Well-Traveled.
27 years of ignoring Someone's inability to do two things at once. Although he has learned to walk and chew gum at the same time, talking to him while he's doing something else, even eating, can be...problematic.
27 years of indecision. I take that one, too. The pastor who married us administered a personality profile during our pre-marital counseling, to give us a heads-up on "potential areas of conflict." He told us that we both ranked so low on decision-making skills that we would "not only have trouble deciding when to have children or where to buy a house, but also which movie to see on Friday night." I can vouch for us on that one. We're really bad at making decisions. And sometimes on agreeing on what the final decision really was.
But we're good at ignoring.
We ignore our separate personalities in favor of our collective one. Yeah, I can want, want, want some pretty high-maintenance things, and so can he. But together, we have different collective wants. Setting aside our own agendas in favor of the collective is, I think, one of our strengths.
We ignore the little irritations that can often cause so much conflict. We realize that they aren't going to be there forever, and so we shouldn't let them become an issue. Even the ones that will never go away--like forgetting that our bed is an official No Snore Zone--shouldn't become issues. What we have together is worth the aggravations we feel separately
At least I think so. How about you, sweetie? Happy Anniversary.

6 comments:

Michelle said...

Happy Anniversary Melody!

Elephantschild said...

We ignore our separate personalities in favor of our collective one.

And that's a great definition of "good marriage."

I'm jealous, because your youngest is old enough to be left at the house so that you and the Dh can actually go have dinner together.

Our anniv. is at the end of Sept. We will be... doing n-o-t-h-i-n-g.

Melanie said...

Happy anniversary to you and John! What you have written here is a great testament to how to make a marriage last.

Elephant's Child:

Don't be disappointed over not being able to leave the house on your anniversary. Put Sparkle Kitty to bed, get out the nice dishes and linens, put on a nice dress, make a nice meal and enjoy yourselves. It's a little more work, but a lot more private. And cheaper, too!
And don't to the dishes until the next day!!

Kristi said...

Congratulations to you both! We've got a few years (9) to catch up with you, but what you wrote is exactly what make yours a great marriage.

Kristi (who bedroom should be a snore zone, but he snores, so I just tap him to roll over and sleep on his stomach!) LOL!

RPW said...

Happy Anniversary!!!!

Congrats and thanks for the wisdom, too

Elisha said...

Happy Anniversary Melody!