Wednesday, July 18, 2012


Insomnia has returned. Every so often, I have a night or three when I get little sleep. I fall asleep just fine. It's just that I wake up two hours earlier than I need to, and can't get back to sleep. Last night I got to bed late; midnight. I needed to be up at 6 for another day of seminar. I knew I'd be sleepy later in the day, but I figured it would all work out.

I woke up at 4am.

I lay there for an hour and 15 minutes, worrying about a simple thing I had been ignoring for a couple of days. I knew it needed to be done, but I've been busy with lots of things, and didn't get to it. Now it might cost me some money, and that idea set my mind racing and then it just wouldn't stop.

So, at 5:15am, I got up and did what I had been putting off. Within 10 minutes, things were fine. But I'm not the kind of person who can go back to bed, so I stayed up, folding things, organizing other things, clean still other things. When it came time to go to work, I was ready for a nap. A nap I still have not had, and now it's suppertime.

Fatigue does crazy things. Today I was at my computer, trying to do an assignment during this seminar, and the tears just came. I was able to dam them up, but it was, pure and simple, exhaustion. Same thing as I drove home and the sun hit my eyes. The little bit of pain that caused was enough to set me over the edge again.

All this just to explain why I'm going to bed early tonight? Yep. Because I have to be up at 5am to take chickens to their destiny.

Wanna bet I won't be able to get up tomorrow?


Cheryl said...

You know I empathize with you (although my insomnia manifests differently). I am so sorry for the exhaustion. How did today go?

Melody said...

Today was actually pretty painless. I suppose that's an unfortunate choice of words, considering the chickens-going-to-the-butcher thing! But that got taken care of, John and I had our traditional butchering day breakfast out (we go into a small local restaurant covered with chicken "stuff", they seat us away from the other patrons, and we chow down on cholesterol) I did a mess-o-gardening, some lesson planning, and we hit Culver's for dinner. I didn't feel tired until my head hit the pillow. I don't remember how long I was lying there before I went to sleep. Maybe long enough to close my eyes?