Do You Agree to Disagree?

This weekend, while driving, I saw a bumper sticker that read, "Freedom of speech includes the freedom to disagree." Now, I don't take issue with that. But I do sometimes take issue with the application of that. See, I have never had a problem with a discussion ending with, "I guess we just have to agree to disagree." (I guess the subject would matter. I once asked for a raise, was refused, and the conversation ended with my superior using that sentence. I didn't like it much) In many situations, the two parties continue their relationship as before, either avoiding the subject entirely, or knowing that, if they discuss it again, there's gonna be conflict. But, often, those words are said spitefully and in anger, and people are too hurt to continue a relationship.

What is wrong with two people having a difference of opinion? I mean, if two people had the same opinion, what would be the point of holding a conversation, beyond affirming each other? While that is certainly fun and valuable, too many "affirming conversations" get boring.

And yet it seems that, for some people, "agreeing to disagree" appears to mean "rejection of my opinion." Now, that can run in both directions. The words "agree to disagree" can be used to end things, dismiss me and my position as unworthy of discussion, and get the world "back to rights." (sarcasm intended) Or they can be used to signify that my narrow-mindedness is impossible to understand, therefore further conversation is useless. (sarcasm, again, is intended) At least that's how I've seen it.

But I really prefer this meaning; "Oh. We disagree. That makes sense, since we're not the same person. OK. I can accept that. I don't have to like it, but I will respect your disagreement with me. Can we still be friends?"

Sometimes we can. Sometimes we can't. The second instance makes me sad. I hope you find ways to agree to disagree with those with whom you...disagree.