Grandma

It's been a long week.

It started with that awful phone call. Then I went to meet my aunt and cousins at the rehab center where Grandma died. We went to the funeral home to make arrangements, ending up with no less than 7 family members meeting with the director! The basic decisions were not difficult; spelling her parents' names for the director was! She was the daughter of Lithuanian immigrants; you try spelling Victor Dovidaitis and Agota Mikalauskas! But it was good; it made for some laughter at a tough time.

There were flowers to buy, calls to be made, and Pastor to contact. The wake and service were both held at our church, where she had been attending with us. The music and service were wonderful; simple and sweet. The sermon was all about what God has done for us through Jesus; comforting. We ended the day with lunch at a restaurant, and then a few hours at our house. I didn't think that much Bailey's existed in this world... It seems to be a tradition for our family; say goodbye, then have a quiet but relaxing party.

I have felt guilty this week because I actually shed very few tears. Times of extreme fatigue let me know that I really was feeling the emotions, but no tears. And really, there was no need for them. I am happy for her.

She knew her time was short; she said good bye to John and I on Saturday,
thanking John for being so good to her and telling us to be good to each
other. She was ready. She knew her Lord, and was even witnessing at the
rehab center! Another resident, obviously deep in Alzheimer's, was having lunch with her one day and kept repeating, "I'm not dead. I'm alive. But those people out there act like I'm dead. Maybe I should just pretend to be dead. Do you think I should?"

"No," Grandma said. "God will tell you when it's time for you to die." The other lady said, "Yes. Yes" and became very calm. It was beautiful to see.

She was so active right until the stroke that I really don't think she would have liked living in the condition she was in for an extended period of time.

So, I am happy for her, sad for us.

She lived 96 years; 96! Who gets to be 96? She traveled, spoke foreign
languages, and had a family who were crazy about her. She got her GED at
the age of 70 (her dad told her in the 1920's that there was "no reason for
a girl to go to high school to learn about cleaning and taking care of
babies,) and continued to college. She was 2 classes away from an
Associates' degree, but didn't feel up to taking them anymore. She swam
hundreds of miles a year until she was 92. Swimming, travel, gardening and
her family were her loves.

It's been a tough week. But I know I can say this.

See you later, Grandma.